Monday, February 23, 2009

RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR MONDAY

1. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the core of the Earth?
2. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, "My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic"?
3. Why does mineral water that "has trickled through mountains for centuries" have a "use by" date?
4. What do people in China call their good plates?
5. Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.
6. If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.
7. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
8. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
9. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
10. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
11. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word lisp?
12. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
13. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
14. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
15. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
16. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
17. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
18. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
19. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
20. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
21. Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
22. Never be too open minded, your brains could fall out.
23. Some days are a total waste of makeup.
24. Men are from Earth; woman are from Earth. Deal with it!
25. Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.

1 comment:

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Whoever thinks up these things must have alot of time on their hands!!!! Cute, Jackie.... I love that last one!!1

Hugs,
Betsy